Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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