She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
