i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
