I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
