imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
