i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
