So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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