Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
