That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
