i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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