Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
