found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
