I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
