well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
