he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
