I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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