I've blown a few things in my day
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
