we're blogging at a bar
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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