You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
