Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
