First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize