Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We have started to decorate penises.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
