since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Of course I have a pirate flag
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
