How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
