i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Is it penis luge time yet?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
