His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
People in love make me want to vomit
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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