we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
