I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
