That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Randomize
