to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I wear drunk well.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
