the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am one with the molecules
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
