Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
