he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
