at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
