I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
