Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
