I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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