he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
