i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
