she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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