you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I yelled at your uterus for you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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