Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
