I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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