Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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