i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
i think i have herpe
just one?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
