do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
