Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
