then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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