If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
