I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
