u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
