I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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