if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
