sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
